Think before you click

Hi, my name is Julia Tomasone. I am 18 years old and I’m actress from Toronto, Ontario. Currently, I star as Bianca Blackwell on Family Channel’s hit series Backstage. Being an actress, I often receive messages from fans on social media. I love hearing from them and I really appreciate all of their support and kind words.

Among all of the love, once in a while I receive negative messages too. My character can be very misunderstood. She can come across as mean, obnoxious and over-confident, when in reality, Bianca can actually be quite hard on herself. She has a difficult relationship with her mother and feels ordinary in lieu of the perfect image that others see. While she can put up a tough exterior, she can also be helpful and creative. I can see the good in her. We must all learn to see the good in others and be open to others’ good qualities.

Even though I am only conveying a character’s persona on TV, at times, viewers do believe that I am Bianca and possess all of her characteristics. Some ways I deal with negative comments over cyber space are:

1. RECOGNIZE. Understand that people have a lot of courage when they are anonymous and it is this false sense of security that allows for them to be cruel online.
2. DON’T ENGAGE/ DON’T RESPOND. Do not partake in any comments back and forth, as it will only fuel the fire. Retaliating will make matters worse and you have the courage to stand tall and rise above it.
3. BE SYMPATHETIC. It is important to keep in mind that those who are secure and happy are often not the perpetrators of bullying. Those who bully are often going through a difficult period of time personally. Sometimes, they too will need support and help to get back on track.

When I was growing up I was also bullied, more specifically, I faced cyberbullying. I received consecutive hurtful anonymous online messages. What I learned from my experience was that you first need to recognize that you are being bullied and that it is NOT your fault. You should never respond to the situation by being hard on yourself. Here are some important things I learned to keep in mind:

1. SAVE IT. Save a copy/screenshot of the mean messages you were sent (in case you need to report it afterwards).
2. TALK ABOUT IT. Talk to someone you trust (parents, teachers, school counsellor, coach, sibling OR call KIDS HELP PHONE).
3. STAND UP! Make an action plan and follow it! Let others know it’s NOT OK. If you know who is doing the cyberbullying, ask them to stop.

As for others, if you are a witness of cyberbullying, be aware of what you can do as the bystander. If you witness cyberbullying you can:

1. Think about how you would feel if it was happening to you. Think about what you would want people to do or say for you? If you feel safe and comfortable to do it, say it. If not, help report it.
2. Support those who are being cyberbullied. Even if you are not best friends, you can let them know that absolutely nobody deserves to be bullied. They are not alone. You are not alone.