Protecting your teen from the "BM Boys" and sextortion

As parents and caregivers, we want to believe our teenagers are safe when they're scrolling through TikTok or chatting with friends online. However, a disturbing trend has emerged that every parent needs to know about: the "BM Boys," a sophisticated Nigerian sextortion network that has been targeting teenagers across North America, the UK, and Australia through social media platforms.

What are the "BM Boys"?

The "BM Boys" represent a coordinated network of scammers operating primarily from Nigeria who use social media platforms like TikTok, Instagram, and Snapchat to target vulnerable teenagers. The name "BM" stands for "blackmail," which accurately describes their primary tactic. Unlike random online predators, this group operates with calculated precision, using fake profiles of attractive young women to lure teenage boys into compromising situations.

The statistics are sobering: since 2021, at least 46 teenage boys in the US, Canada, UK, and Australia have died by suicide after being targeted by these sextortion schemes. The psychological pressure and shame these young victims experience often feels insurmountable, leading to tragic outcomes that could have been prevented with awareness and open communication.

How the scam works

The "BM Boys" follow a predictable pattern that parents should recognize:

• Initial contact: scammers create fake profiles featuring attractive young women and reach out to teenage boys on social media platforms. They often use stolen photos and carefully crafted personas to appear genuine.
• Building trust: over days or weeks, they build a relationship with their target, showing interest in the teen's life, hobbies, and concerns. This grooming phase is crucial to their success. The ask: once trust is established, they request intimate photos or videos, often by sharing fake intimate images first or claiming it's part of a "game" or "relationship milestone."
• The trap: once they receive compromising content, the scammers reveal their true intentions, threatening to share the images with the teen's family, friends, and school contacts unless money is paid.
• Escalation: even if initial payments are made, the demands typically increase, creating a cycle of exploitation that can last months.

Warning signs for parents and caregivers

Watch for these behavioural changes in your teenager:

• Sudden secrecy about online activities or devices -Unexplained anxiety, depression, or withdrawal from family
• Reluctance to use social media or sudden deletion of accounts
• Requests for money without clear explanations
• Changes in sleep patterns or academic performance
• Expressions of hopelessness or suicidal thoughts

Prevention strategies

• Start conversations early: don't wait until you suspect a problem. Begin age-appropriate discussions about online safety before your child becomes independently active on social media. Explain what sextortion is and how it happens without creating fear.
• Create a trust-based environment: emphasize that if your teen ever finds themselves in a compromising situation online, they can come to you without fear of punishment. Make it clear that victims are never to blame for their exploitation.
• Implement digital boundaries and establish clear rules about social media use, including:
  • No accepting friend requests from unknown individuals
  • No sharing personal information with online contacts
  • No engaging in intimate conversations or sharing photos with people they haven't met in person
  • Regular review of friend lists and followers
• Use technology wisely: enable privacy settings on all social media accounts, and use parental controls appropriately for your teen's age
• Educate about red flags: teach your teenager to recognize warning signs:
  • Someone who seems "too good to be true"
  • Requests for personal information or photos
  • People who want to move conversations to private platforms quickly
  • Anyone who asks them to keep their relationship secret

If It happens to your family

If you discover your teen has been targeted:

• Stay calm: your reaction will determine whether your child continues to confide in you. Avoid blame or anger.
• Don't pay: paying extortionists only encourages further demands and doesn't guarantee the content won't be shared.
• Document everything: save all communications, screenshots, and evidence before reporting.
• Report immediately: contact local law enforcement and report the incident to the Canadian Centre for Child Protection at Cybertip.ca
• Seek support: consider professional counseling to help your teen process the trauma and shame associated with victimization.

The role of social media platforms

While platforms like TikTok, Instagram, and Snapchat have implemented some safety measures, the "BM Boys" network demonstrates how quickly scammers adapt to new technologies and policies. As parents and caregivers, we cannot rely solely on platform protections to keep our children safe.

The path forward

The "BM Boys" phenomenon highlights the critical importance of ongoing digital literacy education for both parents and teens. This isn't about restricting technology use entirely, but rather about creating informed, cautious digital citizens who can enjoy the benefits of social media while protecting themselves from online predators.

Remember, the goal isn't to frighten your teenager away from all online interactions, but to empower them with knowledge and create an environment where they feel safe seeking help when needed. Open communication, clear boundaries, and ongoing education remain our best defenses against these sophisticated predatory networks.

By staying informed and maintaining open dialogue with our teens, we can help protect them from becoming the next victims of sextortion. If you want to talk to your kids about the risks involved in taking and sending intimate images, see our Talking to your kids about sexting tip sheet.