Location sharing, passwords and smart homes: when technology becomes a tool of abuse against women

Nearly one in five Canadian women experienced online harassment, according to Statistics Canada. But online harm can take many forms. In abusive relationships, everyday technology can also be used to extend control — allowing a current or former partner to monitor, intimidate and control someone from a distance.

Technology-facilitated gender-based violence can include stalking through GPS or social media, forcing a partner to share passwords, surveillance and tracking, and misuse of smart-home devices. Technology can allow a perpetrator to virtually follow a survivor 24/7, including in places traditionally considered safe, such as home.

Women and girls are disproportionately affected by gender-based violence, while women, girls and gender diverse youth face heightened risks online.

The technology itself can look ordinary. But when digital access is used to monitor or intimidate, it can create a persistent sense of surveillance.

“I felt like I was being watched,” said Ashleigh Rae-Thomas, who shared her experience of online hate with YWCA Canada as part of its work on gendered online violence.

So where does connection end and control begin?

1. Recognize when connection becomes control

Sharing a location, passwords or a family account isn’t inherently harmful. The warning sign is when that access is no longer voluntary or is used to monitor, intimidate or control someone.

A partner expecting constant access to messages or accounts, pressuring someone to share a password or becoming angry when location sharing is turned off can be signs that technology is being used as a form of control.

When technology is used to monitor someone’s movements, demand constant access or punish them for setting boundaries, it can become part of a pattern of coercive control.

2. Look beyond your phone

Technology-facilitated abuse can extend far beyond texts and social media. Smart locks, cameras, connected cars, family location services, children’s devices and shared cloud accounts can provide information about where someone is, what they’re doing or who they’re communicating with.

YWCA Canada has long worked to address gendered digital violence. Through Block Hate, the organization examined online hate, cyberviolence and their gendered impacts with youth and survivors. Through Not Online. Not on Campus., it developed resources to help communities respond to technology-facilitated sexual violence.

3. Put safety before a quick fix

If someone suspects they’re being monitored, it may seem logical to immediately change a password, turn off location sharing, delete an app or disconnect a device. But a sudden change can alert the person causing harm and increase the risk of escalation.

There is no universal digital-safety checklist. Before making changes, it is important to assess what is safest and, where possible, seek support from a victim-services or domestic-violence organization. When it is safe to do so, steps might include reviewing account access, strengthening security settings or documenting incidents.

The goal is to increase safety without increasing risk.

4. Remember the burden isn’t on women

Digital safety advice often focuses on what individuals can do: use stronger passwords, tighten privacy settings or share less information. Those steps can be useful, but they should not place responsibility for preventing abuse on the person experiencing it.

YWCA Canada’s work on online harm emphasizes the need to move beyond approaches that ask people most at risk to “protect themselves.” Technology-facilitated violence also requires action from platforms, institutions, policymakers and communities.

The responsibility for abuse belongs with the person using technology to harm, intimidate or control someone.

5. Support without taking over

When someone may be experiencing technology-facilitated abuse, start by listening, believing them and asking what kind of support they need.

Friends and family should avoid pressuring someone to confront the person causing harm, shut down an account or remove a device. There may be important safety reasons why they cannot simply disconnect. Support should expand a survivor’s choices, not reduce them.

Technology-facilitated violence is also broader than stalking or coercive control. As technology evolves, so do the ways it can be used to harm women, girls and gender- diverse people — from non-consensual intimate images and AI-generated deepfakes to trolling, harassment and gendered online hate.

The digital world is not separate from the real one. As YWCA Canada has said, “There is no separate virtual space detached from the ‘real world’; what happens online is happening offline.”

This Week Without Violence is an opportunity to take a closer look at the technology woven into everyday life — and how it can shape the way gender-based violence reaches people.

To learn more about YWCA Canada’s work on gender-based violence and digital harm, visit YWCA Canada and sign up for The Feminist Agenda.

For more information about technology-facilitated abuse, explore this TELUS Wise guide.